Jackhammer
by Dokuhan
Summary: Bokuto Koutarou would never forget the day he broke Akaashi's junk with his magum dong. Talk about an awkward trip to the hospital, right?


**Tags of import:** Rough Sex, Vaginal Sex, Sexual Content, Hospitals, Sexual Mishaps, Transphobia, Agender/AFAB Akaashi Keiji, Bipolar Bokuto

* * *

Koutarou wasn't one to brag, at least in situations that weren't volleyball related. He didn't brag about his grades in school (which were actually pretty good), his decent handful of friends, and he certainly didn't brag about his extremely healthy sex life with Akaashi.

Despite all the jokes he could make with his teammates and friends, sex had always been something personal to Koutarou. There had been reasons why he kept it personal, ones he shared with only a select few. But when Keiji came into his life, it felt like he could finally close a door to one part of his life and open up to the next.

Their first year together had been quiet, as they subtly tested each other's limits and came to understand them. Kotarou had more than enough baggage for a sixteen year old kid, even _after_ sorting through a large chunk of it with Kuroo and various short term partners in the year before, but Keiji seemed more than willing to wait for him. Keiji's baggage was different, and while it didn't have as much dirty laundry as his, there were still things to work through as well. Together they figured things out, and fell into love faster than two teenagers in a crappy shoujo manga.

The second year, though? Hoo boy.

Once they finally became comfortable with one another and all they brought to the table, it was like they couldn't keep their hands off each other. On the volleyball court it was easy to control, as Koutarou always had his head in the game and Keiji had to be some kind of tactical genius. They had brought the team to nationals together once, and they were determined to do it againㅡ so no amount of hanky panky was going to get in their way. Volleyball was serious business. Everywhere else though?

 _Fuck_ that.

Even though Keiji had (what Koutarou expected, at least) a decent room in the girls' dormitory, he spent a good chunk of time Koutarou's room, much to his bunkmate's displeasure. It wasn't even that Keiji was opposed to being in the girls' dorm, he just preferred to be in the same building as his friends. And it just so happened that he slept in his boyfriend's bunk every night.

Since they slept in the same bunk every night (or at least, as often as possible), things were obviously bound to happen at some point. But, given Keiji's anatomy, there were some biological processes that couldn't be avoided.

They called this time, "The Monthly Sadness". The one week out of the month where they couldn't have sex and only just barely fooled around. Keiji always felt too gross to do much of anything during this time, plus there had been a few times they didn't plan accordingly and left Koutarou covered in blood. It was basically a time for mourning.

The week _before_ that, though? It was Koutarou's favorite week of the month. Because that was the week Keiji was absolutely insatiable and basically demanded his attention at all times. He had a secret name for this week: "Operation Ground and Pound".

Keiji was never allowed to know that. Ever. Mostly because he'd be upset that it was named after a DragonForce song. DragonForce was cool, okay? Why didn't Keiji understand that?

So, "Operation Ground and Pound" had already been in force for a whole day when the worst day of Bokuto Koutarou's life occurred.

It was still pretty early in the morning, and sunlight was only just starting to filter in through the windows. Koutarou was in that blissful twilight state between awake and asleep, where everything was absolutely perfect; he was almost tempted to completely wrap himself in his blanket and sheet just to keep cocooning himself in that feeling.

Next to him, Keiji shifted in place and he vaguely wondered if his datemate was still asleep as well. That question was quickly answered though, as Keiji placed his forehead on Koutarou's shoulder and made a soft noise.

So he wasn't asleep at all, that was actually even better.

When Koutarou opened his eyes, he vaguely wondered if he was still dreaming. Keiji's face was pressed against his shoulder, while the rest of his body was kept at a comfortable distance. He _knew_ Koutarou didn't like being touched too much when he wasn't aware and even in a half asleep state, he still kept this in mind. His t-shirt was riding up just below his rib cage and his boxer-briefs were pushed down to his knees, rolled over just a bit like they had been pushed down in a hurry. His hand was already tucked between his legs, and from his current angle, Koutarou wasn't sure if he was rubbing against his clit or had already slid a finger inside.

Keiji moaned softly, closing his eyes as he rocked against his hand.

Okay, definitely the finger.

He moved his shoulder, gently nudging Keiji's face. "Hey," he whispered, "you should have woken me up if you wanted to get started."

"The door woke me up when Yoshida came in from using the toilet; you looked dead asleep and I thought I could wait."

"Obviously, you couldn't."

"Just shut up and fuck me already."

And yeah, maybe Koutarou would have smirked at that or even snickered, but when his eyes met Keiji's, he was filled with an overwhelming desire to touch as much of his skin as possible. He tilted his head down to press a kiss against against Keiji's temple and lowered his hand down to meet his. He gently moved Keiji's hand away and placed it on his own hip. "Okay, okay…" he said against his hair, "get closer."

Keiji scooted close enough to press their torsos together, his fingers scrabbling for purchase on Koutarou's hip while his other hand reached around the back of his neck. He pressed a wet, open mouthed kiss to Koutarou's jawline, "Is this okay?"

"Yeah, totally. Can I pull your underwear down the rest of the way? I want to move my leg."

"Go for it."

Without a moment's hesitation, Koutarou pushed Keiji's boxer-briefs down just enough for him to kick them off. He pulled him closer and placed his leg between Keiji's own. He nodded when he looked at him for confirmation, "Yeah, grind down."

Keiji rubbed himself just a bit on Koutarou's leg, muffling his moan against the boy's neck as he hit the right spot. It was wet and just a little bit gross, but seemed to be just what he needed for the moment. He ground down again and carded his fingers through the little hairs on bottom of Koutarou's hairline. "Tarou…" he muttered softly, "kiss?"

He pressed their lips together, gently working their tongues alongside each other. His shoulders relaxed a bit as it dawned on him that Keiji was going to let him have complete control of the situation until he said something about it. That understanding and willingness to make sure he wouldn't shut down or have an episode was one of the things Koutarou loved best about Keiji. He didn't mind that he was just a little bit broken and would never be "fixed", he was more than happy to accept those parts of him.

They broke apart and Koutarou hiked his leg up just bit, "Hey, um…" he started, "It's okay if you want...I mean...you canㅡ" he bit his lip as he brought his hands to the hem of Keiji's t-shirt, "can you take this off?"

Keiji nodded and pulled away enough so he could tug off his t-shirt. He tossed it over the side of the bed and settled back into place. God, Koutarou loved Keiji's body - he was tall and slender, with his hips and chest only having the slightest curve, barely noticeable under his school clothes or volleyball uniform. Keiji didn't seem to think much about himself, and was quick to remind anyone that asked that he thought everything under his clothes was pretty irrelevant - but to Koutarou he was beautiful. People could waste their time trying to make Keiji decide if he was male or female, but he was absolutely perfect being neither one.

"You know, you can say what you were trying to say before. I want to hear it…"

"Huh?"

"Before you asked me to take off my shirt, you were going to say something else."

"Oh. Yeah. I guess."

"You don't have to if you don't want to, I don't want to make you uncomfortable."

Koutarou bit his lip, looking away for just a second. He traced his fingers over Keiji's hips, drawing patterns into his skin, "Um, maybe you could...you could take a little control. If you want."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, um...yeah, definitely. Just, I don't know, don't pull off my underwear without asking? But you can touch…"

He wasn't even sure how to put it. Usually, when he gave Keiji some control, it was for something quick like a handjob or asking him to sit on his face, something that didn't require being completely exposed and bare. He wished he could just throw out all of his boundaries, but the one time he'd tried in the past he'd wound up bursting into tears and that hadn't been fun at all.

Keiji brought his hand up and circled a thumb around his nipple, dragging Koutarou out of his thoughts, "Here?"

Koutarou exhaled, and nodded, "Yeah...there."

He placed a few kisses along his shoulders, finally focusing on one spot on his collarbone, "Here too?" His thumb picked up it's pace as Keiji's lips and teeth focused on that one spot, not hard enough to mark but definitely enough to feel really good.

"Y-yeah…" he moaned softly, bringing his leg back up to grind at Keiji.

Keiji whimpered and gently bit on his collarbone, "Not enough. Use your fingers."

He moved his leg away and brought his hand down. He pressed his thumb against Keiji's clit and rubbed in small circles, occasionally applying more pressure, "Is the anticipation killing you?"

"I was wet enough when we sta-ahhh…" his voice trailed off into a moan before continuing, "when we started. I want more."

"I like watching you, though. But fine, I'll help you out. One?"

"Two, already had one."

"My fingers are thicker, though."

"Tarou."

He snickered, "Okay, okay," and adjusted his hand, pressing his thumb against Keiji as two of his fingers rubbed along his entrance, pressing against him but not enough to actually go inside, "I love you, so much, you know that right?"

"Yes, I'm aware and I love you too, now hurry up."

"Wow, you're so romantic."

"I swear I will push you off the bed and handle it myself if you don't get mov-ah!" Keiji squeaked and pulled his hand away from Koutarou's chest to cover his mouth. Keiji actually _squeaked_ because of Koutarou's fingers, he wanted to preen about it and maybe even brag a little, but Keiji was desperately rocking against his fingers. His cheeks were slightly red and his eyes squeezed closed, while his shoulders shook and his breath hitched.

He swallowed, "Holy shit, you're that close? Keiji why didn't you—?"

Keiji just nodded and tried to pick up his pace, but the angle was too awkward and he looked over at him.

"I wanna hear," Koutarou said, as he pulled Keiji's hand away from his mouth. He pumped his fingers in and out, trying not to let up on the pressure on his clit.

Keiji panted and whimpered, hands grabbing onto whatever he could reach - the pillow, the sheets, Koutarou's hair. His back arched and he went completely silent, riding out his orgasm as his hips twitched. Finally, he fell back onto the bed, panting and shaking.

He gently pulled his fingers from Keiji, without looking away. No matter how many times he saw it, he was always enamored with the sight of Keiji after he came. For a split second he debated wiping his fingers on the sheets, before finally bringing them to his mouth and licking them clean.

Keiji's eyes locked onto him, his eyes shining like he'd seen a god in person. He reached up and pulled Koutarou into a kiss, pressing their bodies together. He pulled away and panted against his neck, "Fuck me now? Please?"

Koutarou swallowed, "Do you want it—"

"Hard, fast, don't careㅡ just want it now."

"Fuck, okay, yeah, sweet." He nodded enthusiastically and looked through his sheets to see where they'd thrown the box of condoms the night before. When he finally found it, he pulled one from the package at lightning speed before tossing it over to Keiji.

Keiji unwrapped it from the package and scooched up the bed, handing the condom back to Koutarou when he finally took his own boxer-briefs off. "What position?"

"I wanna see your face."

"Yeah, me too." He wrapped one of his legs around Koutarou's waist while the boy took his other leg and put it over his shoulder. He inhaled a sharp breath and nodded.

Koutarou gently guided himself inside, in time with Keiji's exhale. When he was all the way to the hilt, he closed his eyes and canted his hips up, making Keiji bounce slightly against the bed.

Keiji moaned and gripped the pillow on either side of his head, "Tarou, there."

"God, Keiji. You're gorgeous," he said, slowly pulling back before pushing forward again, this time with a bit more force. "You're perfect," he repeated the motion, picking up speed with each movement, "I love you so much." He gripped Keiji's hips, pressing his fingers into the skin hard enough that they'd probably be bruised by the end of the day. But that was fine, Koutarou would just kiss each and every one of them when they were back at this tonight.

Keiji panted and moaned softly, occasionally throwing Koutarou's name in for good measure. Keiji wasn't loud in general, and his behavior in bed wasn't much of an exception. "Harder, harder please," he keened, trying to push his own hips downward.

Koutarou gripped his hips harder, rotating his hips slightly as he pressed in, "Like this?"

And that actually made Keiji shout, "Yes! That!"

That's what did itㅡ suddenly Koutarou felt unrelentless. He pressed Keiji down against the thin dormitory mattress, shoving into him roughly as he swallowed moans with kisses. He moved his hands from Keiji's hips, trailing them up his body to grip at his hands and interlace their fingers together. His vision started to feel fuzzy but he couldn't let go, not yet.

Keiji's leg gripped harder against his hip and his other leg trembled against his shoulder. He bit Koutarou's lip as he shuddered, his insides contracting and gripping against his dick.

It was just enough to push him over the edge, leaving Koutarou to curl around Keiji as his body shook.

When it was over, Koutarou pulled away and wiped the sweat from his forehead, "That was amazing. You want to head over to the showers and clean up before Yoshida wakes up again?" He looked down at Keiji, but something wasn't right.

Keiji looked pale... paler than usual. His eyes were a little glassed over and his face contorted, "Koutarou...pull it out."

Koutarou quickly pulled out, "Oh fuck, crap, Akaashi. Was I too rough? Was that too much? Oh my god, are you okay?"

Keiji curled up on himself, whimpering, "Hurts…"

"Oh my god, I was too rough. I'm so sorry. What should I do? Should I go get the nurse?"

"N-no, not outside. Inside."

Koutarou paused, and then a horrifying realization, "Oh fuck, I broke your insides with my monster cock, didn't I? I probably broke your uterus or something! My dick is a weapon of mass destruction."

"Bokuto-san—"

"Oh. My. Fucking. _**God**_ , Bokuto." Yoshida popped his head up from the bottom bunk to glare at the both of them, "First you have sex while I'm in the room, twice might I add, and then you have to argue about it right after? It's almost eight in the morning! Some of us actually need to sleep before class." He paused and covered his eyes, "Ugh, and that's more of both of you than I wanted to see."

Koutarou frowned and grabbed at the blankets to cover Keiji up. He pulled the condom off his dick and tied it off. "We're not arguing, mind your own business, Yoshida." He reached over to feel Keiji's cheek, maybe he was sick and had a fever or something. "Does it still hurt?"

"It feels like a jackhammer with a knife attached slamming against my insides." He curled up a bit more and his voice cracked, "I can't move."

"Oh god, I'm gonna get the nurse." He pulled his boxers on and climbed down the ladder.

"Maybe you should take her… _him_ … Akaashi-san to the hospital instead," Yoshida commented, now sitting down on his bunk, "The school nurse probably isn't in yet, by the time you get to the nearest hospital the emergency room should be open."

"Yeah, but won't the nurse be here sooner?"

"She usually doesn't come in until ten, you wouldn't know that since you keep all your own shit here. If you take the train you should be at the hospital by 8:30, but... your call."

Koutarou looked up at his bunk where his datemate was still curled up in what seemed like unrelenting pain. He swallowed and grabbed Akaashi's t-shirt and underwear from the floor before going into his own drawers to grab an extra pair of shorts and clothes for himself, "Can you give the teacher an excuse about why I'm absent, Yoshida?"

"Yeah, I'll just tell him you had massive diarrhea and shit the bed last night."

"Please don't do that."

"Just go take care of your second year fuck-buddy already."

* * *

Getting to the hospital that morning was an adventure to say the least. Even though Keiji had had a hard time getting dressed and getting down from Koutarou's bunk, he still insisted on using the bathroom before leaving the school.

("Akaashi, come on! You can barely sit up in bed."

"Listen, I'm already in pain, I don't need a UTI on top of it.")

The train ride didn't do either of them any favors, either. Koutarou's thighs were already starting to cramp up, and each time he looked over at Keiji, he looked like he was about to vomit. Koutarou decided it was probably best to keep his complaints to himself.

When they got to the hospital, the nurse on duty in the waiting room didn't seem to understand the severity of the situation. Koutarou had broken his datemate's internal organs with his magnum dong, why were they wasting time with paperwork and taking Keiji's temperature and all this pomp and circumstance?

"These are all just preliminary measures, Bokuto-san," Keiji mumbled around the thermometer, occasionally checking something off or writing something down on the clipboard in front of him.

"You could be _dying_."

"It just hurts a lot. I probably pulled a muscle or something."

"You had to stop on the way over here to vomit in some bushes!"

"Please don't yell."

The nurse came back and took the clipboard from Keiji. She took the thermometer out of his mouth, "It looks like you don't have a temperature," she looked at the clipboard for a name, "...Miyako-san?"

"Keiji."

The nurse looked at the clipboard again, noting the extra kanji Keiji had added in brackets, "My little sister was the same way at your age."

And in any other situation, Koutarou knew Keiji would have made some kind of comment. Even Koutarou wanted to tell her to mind her own business, really. But a new wave of pain seemed to wash over his face and he curled back in on himself.

Koutarou grabbed his hand, running his thumb over Keiji's knuckles, "Squeeze when it hurts." Of course he instantly regretted saying that, because Keiji did squeeze for what felt like an eternity.

"It hasn't _stopped_ hurting."

"This is all my fault."

"Can you rate the pain from one to ten, Mi-Keiji-san?"

"Eight and a half."

"Seriously, _this_ is an eight and half? Are you going to break my hand at nine?"

The nurse just made a few notes on the clipboard, "Can you stand up and walk?"

Keiji tried to, he managed to stand up from the chair at least. But his eyes glassed over again and he plopped back down into his seat, "Feels like I'm gonna throw up."

"Let me grab a wheelchair, we're just going to move you to a bed." The nurse turned to look at Koutarou, "You did a good thing bringing your friend here so early in the morning. We're going to call Keiji-san's parents, so why don't you head back to school?"

"What! No way!" He shook his head, "I'm staying with Akaashi-san."

"Tarou, shush." Keiji squeezed his hand again, "I'm staying in the dormitory at Fukuroudani and my parents live in a different prefecture, so it's going to take them at least an hour to get here. I'd rather not be by myself."

The nurse looked between the two of them and just nodded, "I'll be right back with a wheelchair."

Koutarou huffed, burying his face in Keiji's neck, "Transphobic asshole," he muttered.

"Hm… I'd rather not start talking about someone that's probably going to be prodding at me. Did you remember to take your lithium?"

"You're in physically debilitating pain and ready to blow chunks all over the waiting room, and you're worried about if I took my meds or not?"

"Staying on a regime is important. Plus, I need a distraction."

"Yeah, I popped a pill before I helped you get dressed."

"Did you remember to bring your Ativan? In case you need it?"

"Yeah, I put it… wait," he faltered, pulling away from Keiji enough to feel around in his hoodie pockets, and then the pockets in his shorts. "Fuck. I didn't grab the bottle."

"Do you want to go back to school and get it?"

"After that nurse tried to kick me out? Hell no. I'll be fine; I'll try to stay calm."

"Bokuto-san…" Keiji couldn't finish his thought as he flinched in pain and hissed, "alright, just, don't exert yourself, please. And don't take anything if a nurse offers, they'll probably give you Xanax and—"

"Xanax goes right through me. Akaashi, no, _Keiji_ \- don't worry. This is about you right now."

"But I don't _want_ to think about it. I'm in pain, I feel like I want to vomit, cry, and die at the same time, and I'm stuck in the emergency room for god knows how long. Plus, now my mom or dad is gonna have to come and find out I probably hurt myself having sex. Today sucks and I want to think about something other than feeling like my entire reproductive system is going to explode."

"Oh god, please don't explode. I don't want to explain that to the team." Koutarou bit his lip and tried to figure out the best way to change the subject, "...did you know Kuroo tried to use shaving cream as lube once?"

"What? You're joking right?"

"Dude! I wish. Yaku told me, he was laughing like it was the funniest shit. I don't think Kuroo knows he's telling everyone this story."

Luckily, a recounting of Kuroo's misery was enough to take Keiji's mind off his pain. Koutarou recounted the story with just as much detail as Yaku had given him over the phone, and by the time Keiji was settled into a bed, he didn't have Koutarou's hand in a vice grip any longer.

But then came the awkward questions, and suddenly things weren't so relaxed anymore. How sexually active was Keiji? How many partners did he have? How often did they have sex? When was the last time he menstruated?

"I assume you're being safe, correct?"

"Well… for the most part."

"Abdominal pain can sometimes be linked to conception," the doctor waved his hand as Keiji and Koutarou gave him a look, "I _highly_ doubt this is the case. It's also too early for us to consider a pregnancy test, but we're going to run some bloodwork, and do a pelvic exam and ultrasound when your mother arrives."

Keiji groaned and leaned back on the bed, "Great. Just great."

"If it's any consolation, I can't offer you any painkillers without your parents present, but I can have a nurse bring in a heating pad while you wait."

"That's fine."

The doctor just nodded and wrote down some more notes, "I'll be back once your parent is here and we'll run the tests. I know it probably sounds impossible, but try to get some rest." He placed the clipboard back in it's slot next to the bed and closed the curtain as he left.

Koutarou scooted his chair close to the bed, leaning his head against the raised half of the mattress. He bit his lip, playing with the loose grip Keiji had on his hand for the moment. "...so, like… there's no chance you could be pregnant, right?"

Keiji groaned loudly, "Tarou."

"I'm serious! What are we going to do if you are?"

"There is no way I'm pregnant, we use condoms every time."

"Yeah, but like, stuff drips sometimes? Like we don't use condoms when we're just fooling around and I am a man that cannot be tamed."

"I can't believe I'm hearing this right now."

"I mean, Operation Ground and Pound is in full force and we've messed up the timing before - you have to admit there's a strong possibility!"

"Okay first of all, I got my period last month and I literally _just_ started ovulating yesterday. I doubt your sperm is strong enough to get me pregnant fast enough to start showing symptoms right away," he glared at Koutarou, "Secondly, what the fuck is 'Operation Ground and Pound'? Tarou, I swear to god, if you—"

The nurse pushed open the curtain, stopping Keiji's threat in its tracks,"I have a heating pad for a Miyako-san?"

Keiji sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose between his eyes, "It's _Keiji_."

The nurse unwrapped the heating pad from its plastic wrapping, not really acknowledging Keiji's words, "Push your shorts and underwear down a smidge, then lift up your shirt a bit."

Keiji followed her instructions, allowing the nurse to stick the heating pad just above his groin. He shifted his clothes back into place, but his annoyed look didn't let up.

"It should just take a minute or so to warm up. If it starts irritating your skin, have your boyfriend come find one of us. The doctor will see you again in just a bit." She made her exit and pulled the curtain closed behind her.

"I hate hospitals…" Keiji mumbled.

"Yeah, tell me about it."

"I want my mom. I want my mom to just show up so they can find out what's wrong with me, give me some medicine, and let me go home so I can sleep. And _maybe_ everyone will stop calling me Miyako."

Koutarou just nodded, not even bothering to bring up the fact Keiji could just get his name changed. His decision to keep his birth name was one of the big boundaries of the relationship. Keiji complained about having to use it for legal documents and when people would occasionally slip up at school, but it was an issue not to be pushed, which was perfectly understandable. Keiji had his reasons. "I'm sure she'll be here soon and she'll whip everyone into shape. I mean, when a six foot tall Amazon goddess stares you down, it's kind of obvious you should listen to her."

"Ugh, it sounds like you're trying to remotely hit on my mom"

"Listen, I'm not going to deny your mom is banging," he grinned, "But I think you're the better deal."

Keiji rolled his eyes, "Oh my god, you giant dweeb." He flicked Koutarou's hand before picking it up, letting his expression soften. He squeezed a little, mumbling, "It really, really hurts. Thank you for staying with me."

He kissed the side of Keiji's head, "You're gonna be okay. It's probably just monster cramps from hell or something." If they were back at the dorms, he probably would have curled into the bed next to him, but the nurses would probably be total party poopers and tell him to get back in the chair if they got caught. "Is the heating pad helping at all?"

"It just feels like I have a warm, sticky bandaid on my stomach."

"Do you want me to get you anything from the vending machine? You haven't eaten and you probably should drink something."

"I don't want to be left alone. Stay with me until my mom comes, at least?"

"Yeah, I can do that."

Thankfully, Keiji's mom didn't take that much longer to arrive. With the older woman's presence, things got a lot better. While Keiji's serious, cold, unmoving gaze could make anyone shut up, his mother had it down to a fucking _art_.

She shushed the nurse that tried to convince Koutarou that _now_ was the time to leave and go back to school, informed both the nurse and doctor that the name was "Keiji _not_ Miyako," and actually managed to get him a painkiller. The woman was like a magician. If Koutarou wasn't so in love with her spawn, he'd probably ask her to leave her husband and marry him on the spot.

When the time came to actually examine Keiji, though, Koutarou knew he had to walk away for a bit. Keiji was insistent that he didn't want to be watched while he got a pelvic exam (and Koutarou had to hold back a comment that he basically gave Keiji "pelvic exams" every other day), plus… the ultrasound machine was going to take up a decent amount of space.

Keiji's mom pulled out her purse and put some money in Koutarou's hand, "Koutarou-kun, go to the vending machine and get Keiji some water and something light to eat. Get me a coffee and something for yourself as well."

Koutarou just nodded and gave Keiji a sympathetic look before leaving the area. He took his time getting to the vending machines and tried to kill as much time there as possible. After a while, he couldn't keep debating between getting crackers or pretzels (because what the hell did "light to eat" mean anyway... at this point he kind of wanted real food and it was getting close to lunch) before finally deciding to get both. The two of them would probably wind up sharing anyway. He got Akaashi-san her coffee and Keiji a water, then finally settled on a juice for himself, because part of him hoped that maybe he could call his parents or his doctor and get them to convince one of the nurses on duty to give him an anti-anxiety pill.

Admittedly, he was getting a little shaky, even though he was nowhere near a hypomanic episode or a PTSD attackㅡ all of the excitement from the day, added with the talk about pregnancy, did put him a little on edge. Yeah, there was basically no chance they'd gotten knocked up, but there was still a chance it was too soon to tell. Koutarou didn't like uncertainties - in volleyball there were only a set number of things that could happen, but in the outside world? The possibilities were limitless.

And he _really_ needed to stop thinking about it or he was going to have an anxiety attack.

The doctor still wasn't done with the ultrasound by the time Koutarou got back, so he was stuck waiting around for another couple of minutes.

When the doctor and nurse finally left, Akaashi-san waved him in and took her can of coffee, "Thank you, Koutarou-kun," she popped the top open and took a sip, "as much as I love seeing both of you, maybe you shouldn't have such rough sex if it's going to land you in the hospital."

Koutarou choked on his pretzel.

"Mom!" Keiji wailed, now completely mortified.

"I'm just saying. The doctor said he'd be back in a few minutes with Keiji's results." She took another sip. "I also asked them to call your father and get your doctor's number. Keiji told me you forgot your medicine at home, so we'll see if they can do something about that. You lasted this long, we can't have you breaking down now."

He coughed around his still aching throat, "Th-...thanks, Akaashi-san."

She hummed as she settled into her chair.

Sure enough, the doctor did come in not too long afterwards. He looked somewhat relaxed, so the news couldn't have been too bad. "So, good news, you're not pregnant. Actually, this problem came about because you're ovulating," he pulled a sheet out of a folder and pointed something out to Keiji and his mom, "That over there? That _was_ an ovarian cyst, about the size of a table tennis ball."

"What do you mean by ' _was_ '?" Keiji asked.

"It actually ruptured. Probably from…" he looked over at Keiji, his mother, and then Koutarou before awkwardly coughing, "when you and your boyfriend were intimate. Your orgasm made the muscles contract and, um, his thrusting just kind of helped it along."

"Oh my god," Keiji whispered, covering his face.

"My dick _is_ a weapon of mass destruction," Koutarou whined, covering his own face as well.

Akaashi-san sipped at her coffee again, "I told you two you shouldn't be so rough."

"...Anyway," the doctor continued, "it doesn't look like we'll need to do surgery, and nothing's shown up in the blood work, but we're just going to send you back home with a prescription for antibiotics just in case. Plus painkillers. We'll write a letter for the school as well," he handed Keiji's mom a couple of slips of paper. "In the meantime...it's probably best to hold off on sex for the rest of the week, at least. Although I'm sure you won't be feeling up to it. Just, try to be more careful about it next time, I guess?"

Keiji groaned even louder.

"Thank you, I'm sure they'll keep this experience in mind," she said, giving them a pointed look, "But we know what it's like to be young, don't we?"

"Mom! Please!"

But at least Keiji wasn't dying, or even pregnant. So Koutarou could live with the embarrassment and be grateful for those small miracles. Yeah, he probably wouldn't be able to look Keiji's mom in the eyes, but he'd probably get over that in a year or so.

The doctor released Keiji about a half an hour later, after making sure he set up a follow up appointment with both the hospital and the lady-parts doctor. ("Tarou, don't call it that.") Akaashi-san offered to drive them back to school, after picking up all of the necessary medications and lunch for the three of them (he never thought a 7/11 bento could taste so good).

When they arrived at Fukurodani, Keiji and his mother went to the main office to explain the extended absence and Koutarou went back to his own dorm. He found his pill bottle lying on the floor next to his desk and popped one, hoping it would kick in sooner rather than later. On his way to the shower to get the stink of hospital off his body, one of his classmates asked how he was feeling, because apparently Yoshida did tell the class he had to go to the hospital for massive diarrhea. Great. Hopefully, he didn't add in the bed shitting detail he'd mentioned that morning.

After his shower, he checked his phone and found an email from Keiji:

 **subject: ow**

 **Can you come down to my dorm?**

 **I just got into bed and it hurts to move.**

 **Akira-san said she doesn't mind.**

By the time Koutarou made it to Keiji's dorm, classes had just let out. He wound up meeting Keiji's roommate at the door, just as she was about to go inside. He shifted his weight on his feet as she gave him a cautious look.

"I know I said I'm okay with it, but you two aren't going to—"

"Oh! No! No, of course not. The doctor said, um, and Akaashi is probably in too much pain. I'm probably just going to study or something while he sleeps, or we'll watch something on my phone, don't worry."

Akira-san hummed and opened the door, "I'm back. Bokuto-san is here too."

Keiji peeked over from the top bunk, and he looked _wrecked_. Even worse than he had all day at the hospital.

"I can't believe you managed to get up there."

"Mom helped me up... I think I was on some kind of adrenaline rush all day because I feel like shit."

"I'll be right up." He placed his backpack on a hook attached to the side of the bed and then he pointed at a wastebasket on the floor and asked Akira-san, "you mind if I take this?" When she nodded, he grabbed it and climbed up the ladder to the top bunk. He scooted next to Keiji and wedged the waste basket next to him. "In case you need to puke."

"Mm…" Keiji curled up next to him, blinking blearily, "thanks for staying with me today."

"Seriously? Dude, it's no problem."

"I mean it. I was actually kind of scared, I don't think I could have waited around by myself."

"Well, it was kind of my fault. It's not like I could ditch you." He gave Keiji a chaste peck, wrapping his arm around his shoulders, "I mean, plus the fact I guess I kind of love you or some shit."

"Hm, I guess I love you too. Or something." He closed his eyes and settled in more, before mumbling, "So...you never told me. What exactly is 'Operation Ground and Pound'?"

Koutarou tensed up, "Um, yeah, about that..."

Luckily, Keiji had already fallen asleep and he sighed in relief. His secret was safe for another day.

* * *

WOOO BOY. That as a whirlwind. A lot went into this, so forgive me. It's based off a story I read on /r/TIFU and I was just like "yeah...yeah I can work with this".

This is also kind of a dumping ground for headcanon that's going to be explained more in a different story, so I guess there are a few things to note.

My headcanon for Akaashi is that he's AFAB agender, but just happens to present as male a large portion of them time (mostly just because he's on the boy's volleyball team, but otherwise he's pretty apathetic to it all). The first kanji in his first name, 京, can be read both as "kei" and "miyako" so I thought it would be kind of cool if that was his birth name and it was read with the kun reading - so Miyako. He then he added the 治 on by choice, which changed it to the kan'on reading "kei" - so Keiji. I just thought it would be fun to play around with since I headcanon all the setters as agender, but 3/5 of them are AMAB.

For Bokuto, my headcanon is that he's living with Bipolar Disorder II and PTSD. He's a CSA surivior so even though he's pretty adjusted on his medication and with therapy, he's still a kid so there's a lot to work out. This whole thing is my next big project, probably once I get things rolling with "Carry On" and a few other projects.

But yeeeaaah, hopefully you enjoyed this dumb little thing as much as I enjoyed writing it. I haven't been so passionate about finishing something in so long, so it felt like a breath of fresh air.


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